Pausing a Chapter

I don’t really want to say that I’m closing a chapter because I’m not quite sure how long this work hiatus is going to last.  Today is a bit of a mix of emotions because it’s hard to imagine not being in the classroom teaching kids how to solve trig equations, but I know in my heart of hearts that making my focus my family and personal health is what’s best for me.  I’m SO excited to get to become a stay at home mom, but I’m so loyal to Mill Creek it’s hard to step away.  I have learned that I am a loyal person.  I like going somewhere and being there at the start and staying put.  I went K thru 12 in the same school system in the same house.  I went to college for 4.5 years in the same university (Roll Tide), and when I graduated I came back to Gwinnett County to teach at Mill Creek.  I helped open Mill Creek, and I’ve been teaching and coaching cheerleading here for 13 years now.  Walking away is hard.  Even if it’s temporary, I like being an original Mill Creeker, and if I take a break then it feels as if I’m breaking my loyalty.  Now, I’m still coaching at MC, so I know I’ll have my foot in the door.  I’m not abandoning a school I love.  It’s just a tough reality knowing that I’m walking away from a great school, ideal part time schedule, and teaching a great course with an awesome collaborative team; so why would I walk away?  2 reasons…1- my health and 2- my boys.  This year was tough.  Anyone that went through one of my medical obstacles would find it tough but to be dealt 2 rough hands made the school year tough.  It made me realize that I need to focus on what I love…and what I love are my boys.  I can always go back to teaching, but I can’t go back to my kids being little.  I love, love, love this time with my littles.  I wish I could freeze time!  The fact that next year I get to do carpool every day (some moms are cringing right now), and spend multiple days with Baker just one-on-one, and go grocery shopping during the day amidst the senior citizens just sounds awesome!  The biggest thing I’m excited for is being involved in the boys’ classrooms and not missing any school parties or functions.  If I’m telling the truth, then I get anxiety at the thought of missing 1 party.  Being at home means I’ll have the flexibility to go to all that I’m invited to and be the complete and idiot sucker who volunteers for everything.  I told friends today that I’m going to be that moron that volunteers for everything and says, “yes, yes, yes!”  Then I’ll realize that I’m crazy and will learn to say, “no, no, no.”  The PTA is going to see me coming from across the room and say, “ooo, she’s a rookie to elementary school which means she’s our next victim…I mean, volunteer!”  Yep, next time you see me I’ll be selling spirit wear at the next skate night.  Then the next day you’ll see me at the preschool setting up the latest event with iced cupcakes ready to decorate.  And at these events you’ll probably notice that I’m dressed for tennis (even though I’ve never played tennis and might not ever), or I’ll look like I’m about to go and work out (even though that will only happen some days). Getting dressed in “normal clothes” and curling my hair will definitely happen less often next year.

Hopefully, (no matter how I’m dressed) I’ll be making a difference with our 2 sons, since raising them to become independent, kind and hard-working people is our top priority.  I’m definitely going to miss those moments with teenagers though where you really feel like you are connecting and making a difference; that your student will remember you.  I’m going to miss the kids that you really feel like they want to learn from you…in math and in life.  I think I will still feel like I’m making an impact with my cheerleaders, but I like having the ability to make math a little less painful for kids.  This change in daily routine is temporary for now, but I am curious to see if this leave of absence will only be a year or a multiple year kinda thing.  One thing I do know is that my boys see Mill Creek as a home away from home, and while today I walked out feeling a mix of emotions my boys walked out with me…reminding me that this other home of theirs will not change.  This will still be their other home.  This will still be my other home.  Only time will tell how long this pause from teaching will occur, but I don’t have to decide anytime soon.  2 more days of walking in and out of MC as a teacher…mixed emotions happening all around, but a big ole CHEERS to what great things the future holds!  Choose Happy!

Can I also point out that I should have posted a pic later…after I went and got my hair done…cause it’s looking much better now!  Details…Details…