Month: February 2019

I wasn’t planning to blog today, but couldn’t sleep.  So, this morning I wake up at 3:00 am, as I often do… This has been an odd side effect of the past year or so.  Often in the middle of the night I would get up to check on Ashley and I would look at the clock and it would be around 3 am. Not sure why 3 am but Ashley usually had to get up through the night to use the restroom.  But I would wake up and I would see that Ashley was […]

Choosing happy is hard. Extremely hard. I know it is for me right now. And I know it was for Ashley. Sometimes I wondered how she could make the choice to be happy, to pull herself out of sadness when she was in pain, frustrated, too weak to be herself… Now I ask myself the same questions. How do we choose to fill this huge hole that we have in our hearts? Sometimes we can’t. Rather we have other choices about our behaviors and our thoughts.  I can choose to get out of bed. Then choose […]