A Hiccup in the Plan

Round 6.  Day 11.  Feel like crap.  Where did this come from?  I thought each round would get better.  This is a curveball, and I’m striking out.  Yes, it’s back to school, competition season, and I’m doing this thing called parenting.  Oh- and somewhere in there I’m wifing it up, but I’m pretty confident that I’m sucking it up when it comes to anything that involves housework, cooking or cleaning.  Sadly, that isn’t anything new.  So, yes, I’m busy and life is happening with or without this chemo crap.  Chemo is not.  helping.  Let me tell you what else isn’t helping.  My youngest has outgrown his crib.  We tried to put him in it one night, and he just climbed himself right out and bonked his head.  The next day when we said, “Baker, are you going to sleep in your crib anymore?”  He said, “uh uh.”  We said, “are you going to sleep with your big brother?”  and he said, “uh huh!”  So that was that.  They became roommates and they are both sleeping great!  With all this, it means that I’m going to get to convert the nursery to…wait for it…this is exciting…a CRAFT ROOM!  So exciting!  Moving out of my craft closet and moving into an actual room (girlfriends- party at my craft room coming soon!), but I find myself dragging my feet because I’m sad I don’t need a nursery anymore.  God blessed us with 2 amazing boys, and we are beyond thankful…it just is a little hard knowing that being done with babies had been decided for us…not by us.  My health is not in a state that can handle pregnancy, and sure- I may overcome this, but my last pregnancy was so rough that doctors have highly recommended I be done.  So, baby phase is complete in this house, and packing up the crib makes me sad and emotional.  It doesn’t help that I’m tired, don’t feel good, and I’m getting sappy about my kids growing up.  Lord help me when Fischer goes to Kindergarten in a year.  Last year when I dropped Fischer off for his first day of Preschool I cried to the girl at Sonic!  She was probably thinking, “Good Lord!  I will NEVER be like that crazy lady!”  You wait, sweet Sonic girl who gives me a large Coke for $1.06 during happy hour or before 10am…you just wait until you’re a mommy and your little one takes off for school and doesn’t even look back and say bye…they just strut right off ready to take on life!

I like to focus on the good stuff, but I’m not gonna lie…this week I’m acting one way and feeling another.  I feel like I am the Captain of the Struggle Boat…I’ve upgraded from the bus.  I know that I can give myself some slack, but it’s just not fun feeling like everything is foggy and not crisp.  My brain, my vision, it’s all just a bit mushy, which makes teaching seniors, raising boys and coaching cheerleaders a bit challenging.  This too shall pass.  Looking forward to this round to be over.  I go back to Tampa the end of this month to figure out what the next step is.  Once I know what’s up, then I’ll share it with all that want to know.  In other news, I’m hoping I’ll get a chance to blog again this week because I’ve recently found some new products that are blog worthy.  Stay tuned for that.