Guess Who’s Back? Back Again.

Remember that Eminem song?  Guess who’s back?  Back again.  Shady’s back.  Tell a friend.  Well, I am back, ladies and gentlemen.  Back to work.  I have mixed feelings (if I’m being completely honest).  On the one hand, I am very thankful that I am healthy enough to be back to work.  This is good.  This is important.  On the other hand, I’m going to miss having the extra time with Baker (and Fischer, although Fischer was in Pre-K each day).  I love me some carpool.  Is that bizarre?!  I love having Baker with me and going to get Fischer and waving to him and hearing all about his day when he gets in the car.  There’s something special about that time when school has just gotten out and it’s fresh on his brain.  And on the other hand…if I had three hands…I’m nervous.  I’m nervous how I’m going to feel being back to work and juggling the schedule and juggling chemo weeks.  BUT I did it before, so I can do it again.  And wah, wah, wah, I’m part time- some people are probably thinking, “you ain’t full time, sister, so put on your big girls panties and deal with your cush’ schedule.”  Yes, I do need to put on my big girl panties, and I’m going to put on some fabulous mascara and make the best of it.  I work at an amazing school where they have encouraged people to wear their Team Taube shirts with their jeans tomorrow, which is so incredibly heart warming.  I sent a Remind101 message to my students to tell them I will be back on Monday, and several kids responded positively…but I’m sure there will be some students that are like, “Noooo- let Mrs. V stay!!”  I had an amazing sub!  She worked so hard and kept everything organized.  She kept me updated, but she left me alone at the same time.  Seriously, if you need a math sub or a math teacher let me know…she is awesome!

So tomorrow is a big day for me.  I’m looking forward to seeing my school friends!  I’m also looking forward to seeing my students again and hearing all about how they are doing.  I am not looking forward to having to wear something other than leggings (although, I can’t promise leggings won’t be appearing at the workplace), having to wake up earlier, not being able to work out in the morning (unless I woke up super early, but come on- I don’t see that happening tomorrow…maybe another day, but not tomorrow), and just having the stress of work again.  Look- if someone had asked me a year ago and said, “do you consider your job stressful?” I would have said, “not usually.  Sure, there are times that are stressful, but typically no, not stressful.”  Well, being out of work for several months now (4.5 months, to be exact), I can tell you that teaching is stressful!  There’s a lot to do in making sure your lessons are ready, you did your part for the collaborative meetings, you graded your papers, you contacted parents, you didn’t go over your copy budget, you responded to all of your emails, you read your Admin Bulletins, you made sure your students understood trig equations, and you worked through all the problems you assigned so your students can check their work to ensure they are not struggling.  It’s a lot.  Everyone’s job is a lot, so I’m aware of that.  You just don’t realize how your job effects you until you have the chance to walk away for a minute.

Many people have said to me, “Oh!  I didn’t know you were coming back this year.”  At one point, I didn’t know if I was coming back…if I were going to be able to come back.  Ultimately, I AM able to come back to work, so that’s what I wanted to do.  I don’t WANT to be sick or disabled.  That’s not the goal here, folks.  Now, I’m still on chemo, so I’m anticipating those weeks to be rough.  The other weeks I should be just fine though.  I’m hoping these last 3 months of the school year will give me some clarity on what I’m supposed to be focusing on in my life and what direction I should head.  I know that being with my boys is where my heart is, so it’s just a matter of figuring out the perfect balance.  That’s what life is all about, right?  Balance.