Show Your Stripes!
Do you remember the last time you slept until 11:15?! Sure, I used to do it plenty when I was in high school, college, even my first few years of teaching I would sleep in on the weekends. Once you have kids, there is no sleeping in. I’m lucky in the fact that my kids will sleep “late,” (and by late I mean 8 or 9) but they also stay up until hours that I don’t feel like mentioning because you’ll judge me. I did get to sleep in one other time during motherhood; that was after my first round of chemo when I was feeling incredibly tired, so Mike took the kids to let me sleep. Bless him! I was feeling good on this 4th round of chemo. Honestly, surprisingly good. Friday (the 14th day on my cycle) was busy- I took the kids to their sitter so Fischer could get to soccer camp, went to practice, picked the kids up, we all went to the pool, came home, got ready, went to dinner with friends…aka a GREAT day! I didn’t get a great night of sleep since I woke up one time, then a 4 year old woke me up getting into my bed, then a 19 month old woke me up crying “maaaammmma,” another time I got hot and went to sleep in my kid’s bed (since it was empty), then was woken up in the morning by 2 boys finding it funny that mommy was in a different bed, then back to my bed where I comfortably slept until 11:15 on Saturday. (Thank you husband for entertaining the boys downstairs, so I could sleep). I think the drugs caught up to me. I don’t want that to be the reason I was tired, but I think that’s what happened. I feel good, so I continue to do what I normally do. This ends up biting me in the butt a bit because I forget that I’m on chemotherapy and normal activities can wipe me out.
This 4th round was even easier than the 3rd, and if the pattern continues, then I will hopefully adjust more comfortably with each round. I’m wrapping my brain around the idea that I may be on meds for awhile…maybe forever (okay, not ready to wrap my brain around THAT), but I’m certainly getting more comfortable and accepting of the concept that I may need a pill box for some time. Cancer is inconvenient. I don’t want it to keep me from doing anything. Is that realistic?! No. Do I care? No. I want to live my life as I always do. I don’t want to cancel plans because I might be on meds and feel like crap. I wanted to type up a blog entry, but I was so busy getting stuff done that I haven’t sat down to work on it- this is good. I’m glad I’m not wallowing in my sadness and medical nonsense and able to continue on with daily life.