I wasn’t planning on blogging today, but in my Timehop app (in my opinion, everyone needs this app- it brings back so many memories) a picture popped up that made me smile…and also made me think about when the picture was taken. So many changes from then until now have occurred…some amazingly great, and some amazingly awful. In August 2012, Mike and I took family pictures with Fischer because he was about 9 months old, and we were so happy with how they turned out that we framed multiple shots around our house. We even canvased a family photo which was our living room wall centerpiece for the next 5+ years. When I took this picture, I didn’t know that a hellish medical journey was lurking only a month away. This photo shoot was full of joy and little worry! I didn’t know that a month later I would start to itch, lead to a tumor, have a major surgery, realize it was cancerous, have a reoccurrence, deal with chemo, have a heart ablation, have cardiac arrest, deal with radiation, and multiple (upon multiple) hospital stays. I’m SO glad I didn’t know that was around the corner waiting for me.
While there would be so many un-fun changes headed our way, there were also a lot of joy waiting for me too. There was the ability to get pregnant again, deliver a 2nd son, enjoy 5 years of part-time teaching and later enjoy the world of being a stay at home mom, my parents moved to be closer to us, and Mike and I have enjoyed navigating life as a team…just to name a few. Shoot, there are even indifferent changes like we changed our house paint color, my hair is a different color (Mike is still bald), and I lost about 20 pounds…I mean, if you look at these pics it’s an obvious difference, so I figured I would mention it. I’d like to throw in the fact that I am VERY thankful this medical adventure has at least had me lose weight vs. gain weight because I KNOW my personality, and if I had been gaining weight while tackling all this medical crap I would be a very grumpy camper. Hence my last medical stay when I gained weight like a pregnant woman in 2 weeks vs. 40 weeks…I was emotional…and cranky…and just plain unhappy. Thank goodness the doctors figured out a way to help pacify the problem until I begin my next line of treatment.
Alright, the point of this brief post is this: we don’t know what lies around the corner. We can’t predict the future, and it doesn’t do us any good to try and worry it. All we can do is deal with the cards we have been dealt and be happy with who we are and where we are now. I was in BodyFlow yesterday, and my friend was leading the class. She reminded us that we need to practice being our own best friend. We need to be comfortable with who we are and love being with ourselves. If we can love ourselves and be happy in the now, then I believe it will make tackling what the future throws at us a little bit easier. Love yourself; it makes loving others a more manageable task.
Side note: I hope everyone is having a happy back-to-school week! Be kind to your teachers…they watch your kids all day, which is an incredibly hard task sometimes (we know some kids that can be… hmmm…how do I put this?…“a handful”…yes, let’s just say that).
Love you. You have always been a very real girl.
Glad u r hanging in there. Praying for u as we have carcinoid battles. Dr Strosberg did a good job at MACAG. Saturday.
“Be your own best friend” Love it!