Show Your Stripes!
Here’s the truth…I’m out of shape. Lots of moms fall into this reality. I have always vowed that I wanted to stay in shape and not let myself go, even after kids. I’m thin (which I’m thankful for), but I’m so incredibly out of shape that it’s pitiful. I have been trying to work out more often, and while I’m peddling away on the elliptical, I’m lucky to go 25 minutes and max out at a level 5. When I’m working out to a Pop Sugar video, I often find myself doing the modification instead of what the lead instructor is doing. When I’m going for a walk with the family I have Mike push the stroller because at times it gets too hard for me. Sure, I have plenty of reasons to explain this “out of shape” phase, but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t do now what I used to be able to do. I have run a half marathon before, and on Sunday I struggled walking a darn mile with my kids in the stroller. Seriously! I get it- I have had heart complications, I’m on a beta blocker, I am on chemo…blah, blah, blah…mentally, I am fine though, and mentally I KNOW that I can’t do certain things. Just on Saturday a friend of mine told me about how she’s training for a half marathon that’s in Atlanta this September, and I wanted so badly to say, “I’ll train too, and we can run it together!” I didn’t say a peep though because I know that’s not my reality. It could be down the road, but right now a decent goal for me would be to run a 5K.
For lack of better words, it’s depressing. Am I going to let it eat me up? No. Am I going to keep working out and try to get my strength back? Yes. Frankly, it just sucks. It’s hard knowing that I was capable of doing something and now this whole medical nonsense is slowing me down. I am thankful that I’m even able to exercise at all, and I’m REALLY thankful that chemo hasn’t made me fat…that’s a harsh way to phrase that, but the truth’s the truth. Ultimately, I want to exercise to be healthy and keep my heart healthy. It sure would be nice if I could get back to running my neighborhood or local park without being worried about passing out or needing someone with me in case I feel awful. One step at a time, right?
(You may have noticed that I have more bracelets on again today! Haha! It’s my staple- can’t stop- won’t stop!)